Start Before You are Ready: C+O Canal

My brother is not the most patient man, and really wasnt when we were growing up.  I remember standing on the high board, ready to practice my back dive. I was taking a few seconds to get ready and I can still hear him “What are you waiting for?  It’s just going to get harder if you wait. Just GO!”


That lesson has carried with me.  I get so frustrated when I hear people say “I start XYZ on Monday”.  Just start. Once you’ve decided to start, you have started: get going.   


I dove off that board, at that time, to get my brother off my back.  But, he taught me a lesson: It’s okay to go before you are ready. And, “ready” can make it harder to go.


I had the flu last week.   They yucky, can’t move, feel horrible, no food going in, flu.  I also added bronchitis to the mix. I was not training. Actually, I was not doing much of anything except feeling sick and binge watching ‘The Good Doctor’.    And, I had C+O Canal 100 this week. I was not ready.


One of the teacher’s I worked with, was concerned for me.  “Should you be doing this?” he asked. My response is “Yup, how else will I know what I can do?”.


Not once during this race, did I focus on getting to 100.   I literally went mile to mile and readjusted. I would ask myself “If you weren’t sick, how would you handle this?” and would adjust my sails.   I refused to let a negative thought enter my head. When one would try, I would rebut it with “focus on what you CAN do”. Images of my first few ultras filled my head.  Back when I wasn’t ready, but figured it out as I went along. I leaned deeply on those early skills, and I believe they are what kept me going “just one more mile”.


There is a time in yoga class, when you are to go into full wheel.  When you ‘flip your dog’ earlier in the class, it’s not all that difficult to do.  But, at the end, when you are beat, going into full wheel is legit. The teachers always say “Just go up.  Don’t think about it. Get your head out of it and your body into it”. I think this race really brought home what they have been trying to tell me.   It’s okay to take the risk.


I did not get to 100.  But, I put in over 50 solid miles and I ran until I had nothing left to give.   I feel energized, motivated and ready to re-build my endurance. I feel stronger as a human, and more than prepared to take on the next starting line...which I will see very soon.


Right now, as I sit here, bottle of antibiotics next to me, I am very happy that I did not wait until I was ready.

Oh, and C+O, I'll be back full strength for my 4th 100 buckle, ready or not.

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