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Showing posts from April, 2013

Scared Doesn’t Mean Stop-Gettysburg Marathon

“Mom, qualify for Boston, you NEED to run next year”.  This was not a request; it was a demand made by my sixteen-year-old son. “Noah, I’ve got a pretty full race schedule already this year, so I don’t think I can work it in. But, I’ve already planned on volunteering.” “Mom, there is no way you are volunteering without me.  Sign me up; lie about my age if you have to.  I’m going to Boston next year”. “Noah, why so adamant?” “You always taught me that scared doesn’t mean stop.  I need to be in Boston next year.  THEY don’t win.” In the wake of the Boston Marathon Bombings, I have certainly had my comfort zone rocked.  The night of the bombings, I kissed my daughter good night, grabbed my shoes and went running…. hard.  I cooled down, and ran hard again.  I ran because I could, for those who couldn’t, and because the world was different that evening than it had been that morning.  It’s true that running is cheaper than therapy, and for me, much more effect

Running In My Sleep...

This family handles stress in drastically different ways.  Mark micromanages and cleans.  Natalie snarks and cries.  Noah gets mean.  My stress hits me in my sleep. I know as soon as my head hits the pillow, if it is going to be a restless night. There is a point in an ultra-marathon, where you totally lose it.  It is usually in the middle of the night, but can and does happen in broad daylight (i.e. the last four miles of the Beast).    You are sleep-deprived, physically exhausted, cold, hungry, and incoherent.  You are more than likely hallucinating.  Roger tells me this is when you should just let go---cry, swear, yell, sing, punch a snow bank--do what ever it takes to get through it.  It will pass, even if you can’t see how.   It is a very dark and lonely place, where for me, my thoughts turn inward, and I give myself a good emotional beating for all of my shortcomings.  I do NOT like to be running with anyone when it hits me, but I have both been with and