Eva Runs Through It

For as long as we have been together, Mark and I give each other “wish gifts” for Christmas.   They are small tokens, used to represent our wish for the other during the coming year.    This year, Mark gave me a brown haired barbie doll ...covered in bandages.    “She represents everywhere you were hurt this year.  My wish is that you heal”. Not going to lie.  2019 put me through my paces.   It challenged me in ways I never could have imagined. I have always considered myself to be a strong woman, I realized, my strength is irrelevant if I am not challenged to use it.   I am honored to say...I used it. I did not shy away. I met each obstacle head on, and I did my level best. I grumbled. I cried. But, I never stopped my relentless forward progress. Looking back, I am thankful with how I traversed this year. I am proud of me. I had a true moment of clarity during a sunrise run in Arizona.   I felt light and free. I was empowered. For the very first time in my

Making Strides When, I lined up at the starting line for my brother's 5k, in September, I took a private moment. “Rick”, I said, “I did it.  I picked up the load you left me. I did what needed to be done. Now, I need your help to get me back”.  And, we were off.   And, the pain was excruciating.   Within 0.25 miles, that familiar electric charge, that radiates up my leg, was back.  The charge, I've tried to deafen with inserts, cortisone shots and surgery aimed at melting the culprit. I've tried changing shoes, pace, gait and terrain.  I've iced, rolled and elevated. I've given up racing, and was ready to give up running altogether. (Get ready yoga, you’re up). I felt as if I'd exhausted all options, all to no avail. At that moment, however, I tried one more thing.  I enjoyed some time with Rick’s four year old granddaughter, Ella.   Ella, and I would run from signpost to signpost, racing and giggling, the whole way.   The

My running shoes have been with me, near me, available to me, for a very long time now.   I’ve turned to them when I need to process life’s ups downs and turns. For a few months now, my running seemed forced.  It was much easier to sit at home vs. lace them up. I allowed other priorities to take over the time I used to dedicate to myself.   I justified in my own head that I didn’t “need” to run...I had nothing to prove. I let races I signed up for, come and go. More often than not, I missed my weekly running goals. My endurance suffered. Running felt like just one more thing on the list. And, then one day, I just started again. I drove to Connecticut the day after school let out and toed the line for a timed race.   I ran in the heat and the mud and honestly, I let a lot of my life just settle where it was.   I took control back of me. I felt a sense of gratitude. Fast forward a week, to a yoga conference in Arizona.   Still not adjusted to the timezone, I woke

Confessions of a Busy Woman Ok, here goes… I’m a wife. I’m the mother of an adult son, who is moving to Mississippi in a few days. I’m the mother of a daughter finishing her junior year, beginning her first job, and getting ready to fill out college applications. I’m teaching her to drive (Lord, help me) I work full time as a special education teacher, working across a very wide range of disabilities. For those in the know, I am CT, RR, 15:1 content specialist. With 6 contact periods. I give up my planning periods to cover other teacher’s classes. I coach Cross Country. I’m a graduate student working on my second Master’s Degree I teach summer school I pick up hours in our ASAP (After School Alternative Program). I have a dog I bake from scratch I build things. I’m an ultrarunner. I train for ultra runs. I travel to ultra runs. I train others to run. I am working on my NYS Coaching Certification I have CE credits to maintain in Personal Traini

Every day...every moment.  There is no laurel resting.  There is no credit for past accomplishments. It’s all about taking steps.  It’s about what is in this very moment. Facing what needs to be faced, and doing what needs to be done.   One more mile...one more re-group...one more “let’s do this”. Continually asking, Is this useful?  Is this moving me forward? Am I doing what needs to be done?  Is this the best use of my time? it’s about millions of mini goals and letting go of expectations and accepting reality.  It's about knowing where I want to go, and driving hard to get there. It’s about starting over and over and over again. I’m huge on lists.  Making one is the very first thing I do each day and I work relentlessly on completing it.  I schedule, reschedule. I adjust. I start. I do. I get stuff done. And, sometimes, it’s too much.   I have to look at priorities and respond to what I can handle.  Sometimes I drop a spinning plate...most times, I don’t.

Fat Ass racing is fun.   They don’t usually cost much, if anything...in this case, $15 and a jug of water.  The return, however, is priceless. A day spent on a fabulously muddy trail, with wildflowers, warm air (I wore SHORTS!!), and fantastic views.   Just what a soul needs to smile! I’ve been working on getting my 200- hour yoga certification.  It’s been a process that started in my head when I began Cross Country coaching.   Taking that job opened up avenues that, I was unaware existed. Although I have been a personal trainer, who refuses to accept payment, for several years; I did not fully embrace my ability to be of service to others, or for that matter, fully benefiting from the service of others.   I start every yoga class I teach by asking my students to set an intention for their practice.   I will not guide or alter these intentions, I only ask two things: They are present tense. When I challenge them, I want them to mentally refer back to that  intention.

In 2019, my self-wish is to take my running somewhere different.  I thrive on challenges and making memories. I want to get dirty.  I want to get uncomfortable. I want to walk funny for days after. I want to hurt, and know that I’ll survive.   Screw playing it safe. I want to set myself up to fail, and see where that happens. I want to succeed, and see where it went well.   I vow that I will not give the end more power, than the start and middle of a race. And, so I began, with some back to back 50’s. The 50/50, was light and bright.   The mood was carefree and there was no doubt at the start, that I would find the finish.  It was utterly unmemorable, but gave me nice tired legs to work with. Fast forward to the Greenbrier 50 miler.   Not only right after the 50k, but run directly after 10 hours of yoga training.   Heres, the twist….the race started at midnight.  (Rog, I finally did one of these!!!!). I literally only got to the park about an hour before the

“I think I might be done”.   “I just don’t feel it anymore” “I haven’t trained” “I don’t know if I want to do it” “I’m not sure it’s my happy anymore” I spouted all of this and more to Mark the night before the Beast.   He knew it wasn’t typical pre-race insanity. He knew I meant it. “Well, there’s yoga” he encouraged. I lost my brother a month ago.   One minute his blood was pumping through his body the way it was supposed to.  The next, it took a different path, and took him with it. Gone. Just. Like. That. I tried, I really tried to be me, but I was pretending.  I was listening to my excuses. OMG! Was I listening to my own excuses!  I wasn’t finding restorative sleep. I wasn’t taking care of me, and my body was letting me know it.  I wasn’t as alive as I could be. At the starting line, which is never a healthy place for me, I envisioned just not running.  Just simply letting the herd go by, and going off to find somewhere that I could hang out. I