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Showing posts from February, 2019

What Goes Down Can Come Back Up. Beast of Burden 50

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“I think I might be done”.   “I just don’t feel it anymore” “I haven’t trained” “I don’t know if I want to do it” “I’m not sure it’s my happy anymore” I spouted all of this and more to Mark the night before the Beast.   He knew it wasn’t typical pre-race insanity. He knew I meant it.

“Well, there’s yoga” he encouraged.

I lost my brother a month ago.   One minute his blood was pumping through his body the way it was supposed to.  The next, it took a different path, and took him with it. Gone. Just. Like. That.

I tried, I really tried to be me, but I was pretending.  I was listening to my excuses. OMG! Was I listening to my own excuses!  I wasn’t finding restorative sleep. I wasn’t taking care of me, and my body was letting me know it.  I wasn’t as alive as I could be.

At the starting line, which is never a healthy place for me, I envisioned just not running.  Just simply letting the herd go by, and going off to find somewhere that I could hang out. I almost did it.  I swear, I could s…