Have Fun, Dammit-Stone Mill 50 Miler

I had been running for about an hour.   It was dark and although the weather report looked good for the day, my fingers were frozen in the pre-dawn cold.  I could easily see my breath, but struggled to find the trail.   A pet peeve of mine is running in someone else’s headlamp light.  It causes me to cast a shadow into my own light and challenges my footing.   To compensate, I tend to over think what I can control.   I force my thoughts to logistics:  How is my pace?  Did I select the right shoes?   Do I need to adjust the fitting on my gear pack?  Happy I thought to eat some avocado the day before.  Cautious that I am only recently out of my wrist splint.

Suddenly, I stepped out of my own head.   I stopped the endless stream of boxes I was trying to check.   Have fun, dammit.   It rang loud and clear.   Have fun.   You love this---let yourself fall in love.   Don’t try to stop and analyze it, it won’t make sense.   Just feel.   Just be.   Just do.   Just step off the platform and take flight. 

I checked back in.   The sun was rising over a calm and beautiful lake, surrounded by fall foliage in full bloom.   There was a slight fog that gave the scene a dream-like quality.  Behind me I could still see the remnants of an immense super moon.  It was a spectacular sight, and I felt blessed to be a first hand observer of Mother Nature’s paintbrush.  

I ran strong, stronger than I have in months.   I’d come to aid stations, and look at the miles I had accumulated…. wondering how I had pranced through so many.   I took my watch off, and packed it away.   I didn’t care what the time was, I cared about the time I was having.  

I freed myself from thoughts about previous races, about my body’s ways of telling me I have been over-doing it, and about challenges I have yet to face.   I shined a spotlight on this race, and in this moment.  I dealt with only what was in front of me, and consciously decided to focus only on what makes me happy.   I spent a few miles listing in my head events, people and moments for which I am grateful.   I know I ran with a visible smile on my face.  I know I am blessed.

My final challenge in the race was literally chasing the sun.   That beautiful sun, that brought me out of my own head this morning was beginning to set.   It was time to put on my wings and fly.  With about a half mile to go, I watched the sky change to dusk and I smiled.   I had done it.   I let my body do what I had trained it to do.   I freed my mind from the confines of boxes that like to be checked.   I took chances, and was rewarded for my efforts.   And, most of all, I had fun.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Mendon Ponds 50k Race Report

My day started early.  5:30 am to be exact.  My husband's extreme dislike of Saturday morning alarm clocks resulted in a literal  kick in the butt that got me moving.  It's time to race.  I know this drill:  re-think what I'm going to wear, put the things in my pockets that I ALWAYS forget,  grab my running backpack, ultra tackle box, breakfast and head out the door.  I'll use the drive time to fine tune my race strategy and supply needs. I arrive 20 minutes before the start.  I see hills and frost, better get the gloves and the light coat.  I grab my timing chip and race number and huddle at the start.  I scan the field.  No newbie's here.  People know each other, they are in mis-matched clothing, and they are lean.   Many wear shirts from the Sehgahunda trail marathon.  One lady said it was tougher than Ironman.  I make a mental note, I'm running Sehgahunda. Without fanfare, the race director tells us the trail is being run in reverse direction, reminds
Read more

Phunt 50k 2021

 It is amazing to me that my last blog entry was Phunt 50k from last year.   Although, I have run multiple ultras this past year, allowing me to surpass my 100th all time ultra-distance, I have not been moved to blog.   But, then, there is Phunt.   This is a race like no other, even in the virtual world.  You see, I was driving to Phunt on the day my brother passed away.  I've always felt a kindred connection between this race and Rick, and the prevalence of PBR on the swag, only deepens that connection. Phunt was my litmus.   I came back last year and ran with all my heart.   I ran for me.  I ran for time.  I ran for the adventure.   What I didn't know, was that I was running in-person for the last time.   For the race this year, which was virtual, I toed the line of my one mile cemetery loop.  This loop and I have become quite close this year.  On Saturday, I ran around that dang thing 31 times.  It took me nearly 7 hours and I used my car as my personal aid station.     I
Read more

My Life as a Dirty Girl

            100 miles.  The first time I attempted the distance, I left the course with kidney stones after 55 miles.  The first time I wanted to quit running all together was on the Dirty Girl course last year.  I completed an ultra there, but got lost and defeated.  “This is stupid.” I told my friends.  I was going to put away my running shoes and move on to other things. Three wonderful people gently coaxed me back.  (Thank you Roger, Kris and Denise)  I decided to take my two biggest running defeats and make the Dirty Girl my first 100-mile race.          The race got in my head.  I trained rigorously.  I was consumed by it during the weeks leading up to it.  I’d gone 75 on a nice flat course, but this would be different.  Roger describes it perfectly “ I hate the Dirty Girl course. It just goes up, down, left, right constant switchbacks and single track. It's was tough for me to get in the groove last year. No long stretches to put it in cruise.”          Before the race
Read more