Facing the Beast

      They say that 85% of what you worry about doesn't happen anyway.  So, I am not going to worry about the Beast of Burden 100 that will happen this Saturday.  I'm not going to worry, but I'm going to plan for multiple, possible, scenarios, that may or may not happen.  Semantics are everything.
     I don't fear the distance.  The miles don't scare me.  I know how to suffer; how to over come adversity; how to adapt.  What is keeping me up at night (besides images of that crazy chicken silo) is the weather.
     Temps are predicted to be freakin' cold.  I'm seeing ranges in the teens and below.  There will be both new snow and several inches of accumulated snow.  Before you ask, no, no one clears the path.  And, it will be windy.  On that course, I know the wind can make or break my day.  There is just no way to get out of it's path.  At least there will be a full moon; unfortunately, that's when the Beast likes to really come out!
     You may think that this is when I question why I do this, but it is really when I question how I do it.   Trust me, thirty hours in bitter temps sounds just as nuts to me as it seems to sound to those who hear about it.
     Superman told me not to check the weather report until at least Wednesday.  I am trying to listen this time, but the weatherman on the radio saying that the wind chill today is -15 is not helping.   I've been polling knowledgeable friends about their successes with cold.  Almost all started their advice telling me to trust what I already know.  That is hard to do, when I am struggling to put cohesive thoughts together.  However, I do plan on disregarding the suggestion that I wear a catheter---no way I could (or would want to) run like that.  Thanks anyway.  But, I just may keep a warm sleeping bag at the ready.  You never know when it could save a life.
      I will be at that starting line.  I'll be ready to face my fears, to have a good cry, to pull myself up, to rally, and, to trudge on.  I will unabashedly bitch and whine. I will be grateful for the ability to compete in this crazy sport. I will create and deepen friendships that I hold dear to my heart.  And, I will take a journey of self-discovery, that often does not highlight my strengths, but teaches me so much about who I am.  I will stand up to the challenge, and see just what it is that I'm made of.  All while freezing my butt off.
       I'm not sure what my finish line will look like.   It could be the end of the thirty hour time limit, it may be when I am pulled due to an adverse reaction to the cold, or it might just be at the end of 100 miles.  I wont know that until I am in "my freak zone" (thanks Rog).  But, win, lose, or draw, I'll give it all I can.
       For now, I'm banking extra sleep and calories.  I enjoyed a decadent massage.  Mark is benefiting from my time home (vs. training), as I've been able to scratch many projects off of my to-do list.  I swear he adds to that list as soon as he knows I have a big race coming up.
     Once I am running, my worries  planning will be history.  I'll just have to suffer...face adversity...adapt.  And, in the bitter cold, at 3 am, running by that creepy chicken silo, on a full-mooned night, I will run through it. 

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