Imma Do Me

It’s funny where my brain takes me on these long runs.  I could be battling extreme darkness, strange creatures on the trail, lack of ability to drown out the varied noises around me, punishing rain, exhaustion, and those little gravel stones that for the life of me, I could not keep out of my shoes...but I thought of a student.

When I first met this child, my teacher brain told me that this was one who was going to generate a lot of phone calls, meetings, behavior plans and tests of patience.   This child would just glare at me and refuse to participate. Finally, perhaps to save my own sanity, I grabbed some marking tape and mapped out a square around his desk.  “Two rules”, I said. “You don’t get to bother anyone else and you don’t get to use electronics. All else is fair game”

“Imma do me” was his response.

“Good”.  I said “Imma do me, too”

He challenged it.  He would try to draw me off task with poor choices.  “Imma do me” I told myself. He watched my every move, but looked at me with hatred.   He would not pick up a pencil. He would not do any work. But, each day, I showered him with compliments.   I did not yell at him once.

Finally, after about a week, he said “Base.  The box stays, but imma do me with the rest of the class”

I smiled for a month over that!

I thought about him for a very long time during my race.  I thought about how he just needed to find a way to fit in, while still being able to keep what he felt made him unique.  He didn’t need to be loud about it (that wasn’t working for him). He just needed to watch and wait and then jump when he felt secure.  He needed to stay him in his surroundings.

It’s a lot like the sport of ultra running.  I honestly can’t count how many times what I choose to do is called “crazy”.  I realized that I’ve built my own box. I watch the rest, see what they are doing, and find a way.  But, I don’t let it change who I am.

I am an ultrarunner.   

I absolutely adore pushing myself to my absolute limits.   I’m proud of taking on Mother Nature. I’m proud of the creature encounters I've survived.  I’m energized by both the failures and the successes. I’m proud of knowing that I can persevere.   I take much satisfaction in my ability to manage my home, my children, my job, my education, my coaching, my training, my mother’s advanced age and my friendships.  I’ve learned to cram a whole lot of living into my life. I’m up early and I crash late. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So, as I write this, I have an open tab, for a daunting race I am considering.  I gave it thoughtful consideration, and decided...Imma do me.